Valentine’s Day is next week, so chances are, if you’re already in L-U-V yourself, you may be considering the next step in relational bliss: matchmaking. Perhaps you realize that the cute young girl who sings at your church and the sweet young man who works with your husband are both single and both Christians, so naturally, they’re both in need of your “holy push.” Should you do it? Should you enter the world of matchmaking, or should you stay out of it and mind your own business?
I, for one, believe that biblical matchmaking can be extremely valuable. I wouldn’t have met my own husband if it hadn’t been for the holy meddling of others. But what does the Bible say?
In Genesis 24, Abraham expresses concern for his son, Isaac. He wants to make sure Isaac has a marriage that honors God, so he entrusts one of his servants to go and find a wife for Isaac. If you’re considering putting together two of your single friends or family members, I encourage you to read Genesis 24 before you do it. Abraham’s servant takes his job very seriously, and from him, we can learn 5 tips for Biblical Matchmaking:
1. Be clear on your assignment
Abraham’s servant did not just decide to hunt for a wife for Isaac because he thought it would be fun. He went because he had a direct order from his master. Before you fix up two singles, check your motives. Are you doing it because you’re bored, because you’re uncomfortable with someone older still being single, or because you have spent time with God and have truly put it before Him?
2. Go to the right places
Abraham’s servant went to the land of Abraham’s ancestors, just as Abraham instructed him, and because he went to the right place, he was able to find someone who would be equally yoked with Isaac. This doesn’t mean that the only place you can find eligible matches is at church, but it does mean you need to consider where the two people are coming from, spiritually. Are you considering pairing two people together just because they’re both single, or are they really equally yoked?
3. Pray for guidance
Before Abraham’s servant even made his first move, he prayed that God would guide him and that God would provide. He realized that pairing two people together is a very serious, spiritual matter. Therefore, he did not approach matchmaking flippantly or apathetically. He prayed. He sought God’s will. And he continued to do so throughout the process.
4. Consider important qualities
I love it that when Abraham’s servant prayed, he prayed for a woman with a sweet spirit and a strong work ethic. It may seem random that he prayed for a girl who would water his camels, but he knew that someone who went above and beyond what was asked of her would be a woman worthy of his master’s son. What kind of qualities are your considering as you think of a match for your friend? Someone who makes a lot of money? Who has a good job? Who is attractive and muscular? Or someone with qualities that will really lay the foundation for a strong and solid marriage?
5. Don’t push the issue
After Abraham’s servant discovered Rebekah and met with her family, he ultimately left the decision up to her. He didn’t demand, push, or force the issue other than to request that she follow him to Isaac. Do not be offended if you think two people would be a perfect match and it ultimately doesn’t work out. You can’t force the issue. You can’t make it happen. The best you can do is follow the Lord’s prompting and then get out of the way.
Abraham’s servant obviously knew what he was doing because the Bible says that after Rebekah became Isaac’s wife, “he loved her deeply.” That’s a successful match, I’d say!
Q: Have you ever played the role of matchmaker? Have you been matched up yourself?