Welcome Back!
Oooh ladies, it got personal this week, didn’t it!? The Immoral Woman has a way of sneaking her influence into our lives and setting up camp at times when we don’t even realize it! Were you convicted this week? I know I was!
But you know, if there’s ever a beauty don’t that can cause hurt, shame, embarrassment and guilt, it’s The Immoral Woman. I’m gonna say upfront that with so many people doing this study right now, I know that some of you probably have some immorality in your past. Well, guess what ladies – we talked about our pasts last week. Any insights that God has given you about immorality in your past is 1) so He can forgive you and 2) so He can give you strength for the future. God wants you to make moral, wise and biblically beautiful decisions moving forward; Satan wants you to dwell on your past immorality. Let’s allow Him to wash us clean as snow and then move on. Deal?
Week Two Video: The Immoral Woman
In your homework this week, you learned a lot about how The Immoral Woman acts, speaks and dresses. You also discovered that immorality is nothing new, is it? It shows up everywhere – even in the lineage of Jesus. If you haven’t done so already, now is the time for us to watch the Week Two video and see what Laurie has to show us about becoming a godly woman instead of an immoral woman. (Click one of the images below for this week’s FREE online video lesson).
Beauty by the Book: Week Two (The Immoral Woman) – Listening Guide: Pg. 43
Beauty by the Book for Teens: Week Two (The Immoral Woman) – Listening Guide: Pg. 43
Reflecting:
Were you floored by Laurie’s examples of inappropriate “attitude tees” like I was? She’s right; they are everywhere! When I was young, my parents kept a strict dress code in our family. I was never allowed to wear immodest or inappropriate clothes, no matter how much I wanted to!
But let me tell you the one moment that stands out the most when I look back on my teenage years and how I dressed. In high school, I dated a boy named Richard. He was a Christian, conservative, moral guy from my church and for the short time that we dated, we enjoyed a fun, casual relationship.
One night, a group of my friends (both guys and girls) met at my house so we could all go out together. I don’t remember what I was wearing, but given my parents’ standards, it couldn’t have been too revealing.
But before we left, Richard pulled me aside. “Emily,” he said, “I don’t know if I should say anything or not, but I really think you should change your top before we go. It’s just a little too… low.”
Ladies, I was shocked! (I mean, really! How often do you hear about a 17-year-old male who wants to see less cleavage!?) I learned so much in that 30-second conversation, and let me tell you – I never wore that shirt again! Here’s what I learned:
- Even the “good guys” – Christian men guys – notice cleavage! Even a little bit. They’re men. They’re visual. They notice.
- If they’re trying to live moral lives themselves, it makes them uncomfortable. When we tease them with skin, it makes it hard for them to even talk to us. Where do they look?
- What’s even harder than trying to divert their eyes is figuring out a nice way to tell us to cover up without sounding like 1) a pervert or 2) a prude.
- If a man does tell you, in Christian love, that you are “defrauding” him, it does not feel good. You will not feel flattered; you will feel a little embarrassed.
- And lastly, Richard showed me that men who desire modesty and morality are about 1000 times more attractive than those who don’t!
Nowadays, I am so thankful that I married a man who keeps me in check like Richard did back then. I can always count on my husband, Jason, to tell me if something is too low, too short, or inappropriate in any other way.
But if I learned anything this week, it’s that the way I dress is just one part of the equation. The things I watch. The things I read. The things I talk about with my friends. ALL of those things factor into being a godly woman.
The Bible says to “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Cor. 6:18). Obviously, that is great, practical advice. But I will admit, I have a hard time running away from something if I don’t have something different to run towards. So you want to know the BEST way to flee immorality? Chase purity! It is impossible to run towards purity and immorality at the same time. So run after purity! Think about the things of God. Think about His holiness. Immerse yourself in eternal things rather than temporary things, and I promise, the immoral woman will begin to flee from you! “Finally… sisters …whatever is pure…think about such things” (Phil. 4:8).
Let’s Chat!
In the comments, answer one or more of the following discussion questions: (Remember, answer a”Let’s Chat” question every week and you’ll receive a beautiful Beauty by the Book charm at the end of our study!)
- Share one practical way that you have decided to flee immorality (ques. 4, p. 33 – BBB; ques. 5, p. 34 – BBB-Teen).
- How did the Lord speak to your heart this week?
- What did you learn this week that will help you to become a more biblically beautiful woman?
To Do This Week – Week Three:
- Complete the five days of homework in your workbook.
- Beauty by the Book: pgs. 44-60
- Beauty by the Book for Teens: pgs. 44-59.
- Watch the Week Three video and complete your Listening Guide.
- Beauty by the Book: (Week Three Listening Guide: p. 61)
- Beauty by the Book for Teens: (Week Three Listening Guide: p. 61)
- Hop online again starting next Tuesday, Feb. 7, to discuss The Indiscreet Woman
We’re not going to be able to change the whole world’s standards of morality overnight, but we can do as much as possible to influence those around us – like the girls did with their “girlcot!” As for me, I’ve got my own little secret weapon against cleavage, and I’m going to share it with you right here on the Glo Girl Blog on Thursday! Ladies, you are truly glorious! I pray you have a wonderful week and I can’t wait to hear how God spoke to you this week!
Related Posts: Intro Week, Week One, Week Three, Week Four, Week Five, Week Six
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Emily Ryan
Laurie Cole
Jan Hart
I have become much more aware of how I am dressing. I realized that some of my clothes were a bit too low or too tight. I admit that I liked the thought of being attractive tyo other men who saw me, other than my husband. I thought that if I wasn’t the one sinning, then it wasn’t my problem. Now I see that if I cause a man to sin by lusting after what he sees when he looks at me, that I am just as guilty.
The Lord reminded me that He created me to be beautiful to the man I married. That he, and he alone, should be the only man to see how beautiful God made my physical body. If I want to appear beautiful to other people, let them see my beautiful spirit instead to the glory of God.
Awesome Heather! Thanks for sharing!
One practical way I can flee immorality is by paying more attention to the clothing I purchase, what I choose to keep in my closet and how I present myself at work and at church. These past couple of weeks have shown me that, though I do not wear what I consider “revealing” clothing, I have been guilty of wearing items that brought attention to parts of my body that were not godly or appropriate. Just because it is not low cut or revealing…it can still be too tight or bring inappropriate attention. I am very happy to say that it has been years since I purchased a fashion magazine. The biggest reason was because I thought the models in those magazines unfairly portrayed how “normal” or “real” women should look. But, I admit…those magazines do promote dressing sexually to get the wrong kind of attention in this culture.
You’re right Deborah – it’s not just a matter of skin showing, but a matter of bringing attention to things. One of the “rules” my husband and I set up when we had a daughter was “No words across her rear!”
That, and no “attitude bibs!”
One thing that God has shown me this week is to watch the friendships I have with men. I am in leadership in my church and I deal quiet frequently with the men in my church. I am also a single woman. I have to be extra careful, not only in how I dress, but how I present myself and how I react to others especially men. I also need to becareful of the friendships and conversations I have with men outside of the church. When God starts working on some part of our life, that is where satan attacks. Just this week I ran into my ex-husband, who is now remarried. We have let go of the past and can have a conversation without the old arguments coming back up. In our conversation he started in on things going wrong in their marriage and all her faults. What he was leading up to was that he wanted me to feel sorry for him and comfort him. He wanted to have an affair with me. I realized this immediately and I ended the conversation and fled! I could feel those old feelings coming up and I knew that if I entertained them that they would lead down a road that I did not want to go. Thank you Lord for giving me wisdom and discernment to get out of there and not look back!
That is so true Angela! It is so important to watch your conversations with men!
In the past, when things were not good in my marriage or my husband was away for extended periods of time, I would fantasize about a different life. It normally didn’t include physical intimacy. I’m not as interested in sex as my husband ever, so I can live without that. However, God showed me that adultery is not just about sex. It is anything that invades the intimacy between a husband and wife. Even a platonic friendship can become adultery if it interferes with my friendship with my husband. I had to be careful not to “desire” a man who would be home all the time or just go for a walk with me. It has become easier to stay connected to my husband with technology, so this isn’t as much an issue anymore. When I can’t reach him, I’ve learned to call a girlfriend or watch an old musical so as not to be tempted to seek out greener pastures – even in my thoughts.
Such wisdom, Tabitha! Even platonic friendships can lead to bad things. Satan wants us to look to anyone except our husbands for companionship, encouragement, etc.
This week really shocked me that immoral women would be in the church and after men in the church. I know I am naive in this matter. Since my husband is the pastor of the church I need to watch out for him. I also need to be even more careful with my little girl and what she wears and not let the world influence her. It my job to be protector of her purity.
Hi Sharon….Yes immoral women are right in our churches, and are even sitting in our church pews, and even serving as Sunday School teachers!!! It happened to me….a woman in our church kept paying a lot of attention to my husband. She was the director of our children’s Sunday School, and she was even bold enough to come to my couple’s Sunday School class to call out my husband to help her with a Sunday School class when a teacher did not show up. You see, my husband and I taught a third grade Sunday School class, and she did not even look at me to ask me to help, she called him out. I sat there for a second and thought, something is not right, so I left and went to assist my husband. More changes and events began to take place over the following weeks and months, and his attitude began to slowly change toward me. I was even pregnant at the time with our son. I found out by her husband that they had been having a full blown affair for months. Her husband had his wife followed. Needless to say, we are divorced now. My trust level has been completely blown to bits. I have been alone ever since…this happened 16 years ago. Our son just turned 17 on Jan. 30. Yes, beware of the seductive “religious” woman who thinks “she has done nothing wrong” (Proverbs 30:20) and which is what she told her husband. Can you believe that the immoral woman even feels she’s entitled??? Go figure!!
And, Sheree, I can’t even imagine how difficult that must have been for you! I pray God has brought beauty from those ashes!! Rom. 8:28
Yes, Sharon, it is definitely important to be aware. Not paranoid, but aware.
Yes aware is a very good word. Keep your eyes open and be watchful!
The Lord spoke to me in several ways. To be more aware of the clothes I wear. I was immoral when I was younger and I know the Lord has redeemed me and brought me out of the immoral pit. Praise God for his Grace and mercy.
My father had many affairs when I was younger and my mother kept taking him back. Some of these women were in the church.This was very hard for me. I still have a hard time trusting men. I am married,but I still have uneasy feelings about this. I do not want to do anything to cause anyone to stumble.
I have grown so much in the Lord and Praise him for that.
Thanks, Karen. I know that our earthly fathers have a huge impact on our thoughts about 1) other men, and 2) God. I pray God calms your feelings and teaches you to trust Him and your husband.
Thanks Emily, THe slow fade video brought back some tough memories,but it also showed me to be aware of the enemy.
This study is such a blessing. Helping me deal with my past and my future. Today is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
#2 God has reminded me this week not so much of the things I shouldn’t be doing, but of the things I SHOULD be doing! Though I strive to dress appropriately and keep the things I do and say appropriate and unoffensive (especially in the presence of men), I don’t know that I am taking the time or effort to “dress” my spirit. Being reminded that I am God’s child and of all that He has done for me and forgiven me for ought to make me positively radiant. I think that more often than not, I settle for “dull” instead of embracing the beauty of my salvation and being a true light for God.
This hit close to home, Tina! You worded it so well. So often, we allow the difficulties of this world cast a shadow on the beauty of salvation. I will definitely be thinking about this more!
1-Share one practical way that you have decided to flee immorality (ques. 4, p. 33 – BBB; ques. 5, p. 34 – BBB-Teen).
Answer: Remembering the word of God.
2-How did the Lord speak to your heart this week?
Answer: The family tree of Jesus, the sinless God-man, was far from perfect. Throughout history, God has used imperfect people to work his will. God is never fooled or discouraged by peoples’ past mistakes. This gives me hope that God can give me a productive future no matter how destructive or immoral my past has been.
3-What did you learn this week that will help you to become a more biblically beautiful woman?
Answer: That my beauty is a gift from God and has nothing to do with my outer appearance.
Jesus’ family tree IS encouraging, isn’t it, Julie? I love that there is only ONE perfect person in the whole Bible!
This week’s immoral woman has opened my eyes because I have a very flirtatous personality. I have been married to the same man for 40 years and he is the only man I have had a sexual relationship with. I mean no harm but I see now I may have been defrauding others. God is always teaching me and with his forgiveness and help I will become the quiet and gentle woman that he wants me to be.
Thanks, Patsy! I believe you can still embrace a God-given outgoing personality while still being “gentle and quiet.” Especially in the south, where it’s perfectly acceptable to call any and everyone “Sugar” or “Honey,” we just have to be a little more cautious!
#2: Two years ago I almost died, and this week I came to realize God has important work for me to do through Him. He wants me to reach out to others in a kinder gentler way and witness my love of Him to others. This manifested itself when my disabled neighbor, Tamara, finally said yes to one of my many invitations to share fellowship. I know she’s declined to go out in public or even come to my home because she feels embarrassed about her looks. However, today we shared a meal and our love for God. It felt right. God is teaching me to be a better woman. God is Good.
Praise God, indeed! For your life! AND for your friendship with Tamara! God IS good!
3.What did you learn this week that will help you to become a more biblically beautiful woman?
Learn how to think before I speak. Choose better words when talking with customers….I work for a large retailer, and I loose voice control when dealing with customers all day. I need to show compassion, and have a kind and gentle spirit throughout my day.
This passage from James 3 immediately came to mind. I’m sure we’ll learn even more about this in future weeks!
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
Thank you for the scriptures.
Thanks for the such relavent passage. Which bible translation is this?
#3 It is important to do what you can to stop bad or evil things from continuing (such as the inappropriate t-shirts), instead of acting like nothing is wrong.
That is so true, JC! Ignoring it is not fixing it!
3-What did you learn this week that will help you to become a more biblically beautiful woman?
This week I learned that I am beautiful in God’s eyes no matter what. I don’t have to dress a certain way(tight fitting clothes, or shirts that are too low, pants that are too high or tight) to get attention from others. I should dress the way that is pleasing to God and won’t cause men to stumble. Also, when I speak, to choose words that are kind and not demanding. I work with kids and parents, sometimes I feel like I lose it when talking to them and want to have a demanding voice, but I know kids can only take so much and when speaking to them and demanding, it will not help. I need to have a gentle voice all day.
Awesome, Jackey. Thanks!!
1.Share one practical way that you have decided to flee immorality (ques. 4, p. 33 – BBB; ques. 5, p. 34 – BBB-Teen).
One good way to flee immorality is not to let our culture dictate how we should dress and what we watch on TV and what we read. I have control over these things and choose not to let them into my home. I don’t want my young teenage son to become exposed to this type of woman. I lost my husband to an immoral woman, and I certainly do not want the same to happen to my son. We have a battle on our hands ladies to keep our husbands and sons away from the seductive trap of an immoral woman. Be ever watchful, because she comes in lots of disguises.
You’re right, Sheree – it’s not just our husbands, but our sons! I’ve noticed lately that any time my 3-yr-old sees me in a tank top, he says, “Mommy, you look beautiful!” To be honest, that kind of worries me a little!
I know that men are visual, but I had no idea it starts so young!! I pray I can shield my two little men from immorality for as long as possible!
Eph 5:3- 4 Among you there must not be even a HINT of sexual immorality or of any kind of impurity for these are improper for God’s people. Plus no obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking. (paraphrased)
These verses will jerk the slack of you quickly. Let’s model modesty & not defraud others. There’s a helpful “modesty checklist” online through Revive our Hearts ministries. Like Emily said “lets chase purity”!
That’s great, Christy!
One thing that really helped me when I was single – If I was tempted to behave in a certain way around a guy, I’d think, “I may not be his future wife, but I’m someone’s future wife. And out there somewhere is my future husband. Do I want some other girl treating my future husband like I’m treating this man?”
I think I have been stuck here for a couple of days. I love the saying “Chasing Purity” and I believe it helped me see this is how I chose to flee from Immorality. The sensation can be very strong but to chas purity puts things in a different persepctive. Here we strongly want to acquire the traits that God has designed for us. If I am activily pursuing purity I must release the immoral. This will be an extreme makeover and chasing purity will give your new drive and a desire for excellence. I remember speaking to a church member once who had quietly backed away from attendance and she confided that she did not have the zeal to move from the immoral as did so many others (Christian woman). She confessed that she was not that strong. I remember telling her it was a constant fight until you let God complete the makeover; you just keep making the effort. We are still works in progress but the battle is not as intense.
God has reminded me of times in my younger years when what I then thought was Ok was not. I could have been considered immoral by some of the clothes I wore or words I said to men. I have been convicted to repent of these past sins now.
Thanks Toni! Praise God we can repent!!
Some practical ways I’ve decided to flee immorality:
1. Try to never say a negative word about my husband or my marriage around another man.
2. Watch carefully what words appear on my (and my children’s) clothing – and where they appear.
3. Be “pro marriage.” ALWAYS encourage my friends in their own marriages.
4. Watch what I watch on TV.
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God has definitely shown me this week that I need to watch my motives of dressing fashionably and taking care of my external appearances. I find myself dressing / beautifying myself for the attention of other men. I need to allow God to purify my motives and search my heart before I head out the door!
Glad you’re hearing from God, Adrianne!
What did you learn this week that will help you to become a more biblically beautiful woman?
Sometimes I always look at what I wear and wander is it pleasing to God because if its not I don’t want to wear it. I know that i gotta dress pleasing God and no one else. When I go out in public i want people to notice me as a woman of God
Me too! Thanks Melissa!
#1. My way of fleeing immorality is to be more aware of the company I keep. In my past I was oblivious to the actions and behaviors of the people I called friends and family. One hard lesson I’ve learned is that immorality breeds immorality. You start to believe that what those close to you are doing and saying is what you should be doing as well. In my heart I knew it was wrong. It’s hard to break free of immoralities claws. Especially, when it means severing ties with people you’ve shared the majority of your life with. It is however a path of sin you continue down when you keep company with the immoral woman and her companions. I have never regreted the decission to flee.
That is so true, Trenda. Great way to put it: Immorality breeds immorality. But you’re right, sometimes it takes severing ties with people you care about. It’s hard, but God will bless your efforts!
# 2 The Lord spoke to my heart through a text from a male pal, stating “your value isn’t attached to this situation”. In short, I’ve been laid off for a year – so appointments for hair, Mani, pedi, facial, etc are rare. Ladies forgive me but I had to catch myself this week desiring worldly, physical beauty. This study and blog redirected my focus to the inner substance of true value. May we all be refined and reflection of ” the son” shine through!
This is a way of thinking that really impresses our way of viewing ourselves. We never think that those who have real physical beauty will still think of what is valuable in the confines of their spirit. This study is a way to focus on what is important.
Jasline, your prayers are being heard. I’m sure it is difficult being in your situation right now. I pray that God uses this time as a time of wonderful spiritual growth for you and that you see yourself as beautiful through His eyes!
This lesson has broaden my awareness of a lot of things & so many things are subjective & not concrete. By subjective, I mean there is such a fine line when trying to dress and look nice as opposed to dressing in a way that would potentially defraud another. For example, I wear business suits to work and the skirts are an appropriate length (at or below my knee) and I still find men I encounter at work are still gawking at my legs. Another example, when I was pregnant with my son my voice changed and became very deep. One of the male managers of a department I supported would constantly call me asking the silliest questions. So I finally asked someone what was the deal with him and they told me he called me because he thought my voice was sexy. Needless to say, I directed all his calls to my male peer after that. This just goes to show that even when we as women are doing our part some people will just be lustful. But I am glad to know that as long as I do what is required God is pleased with me & I am still a work in progress. I often have to explain to people that ALONE and LONELY are two different things. My fiance passed away June 2009 and I have not dated since then and although I may be lonely sometimes I am NEVER alone. For a comforter is provided to me in my Lord and Savior & my connection with the body of Christ at my church. I sit in church sometimes and wonder if the ladies & young girls confuse going to church with going to a club or party because of their attire. It truly saddens me especially with the children who can’t purchase the clothing for themselves. But we must take them in and teach them and as their heart changes & love for Christ deepens, all things will change accordingly. This is my prayer!
Stephanie, I am so sorry to hear about your fiance! Bless you, I’m sure that was probably one of the most difficult things for you to go through. You’re right – alone and lonely are two different things. My personality craves regular alone time, (don’t get it much, but I still enjoy it!), but detests feeling lonely! But I can tell that my feelings of loneliness have a whole lot to do with my walk with the Lord. When I’m spending time with Him on a regular basis, I don’t feel lonely as much!
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I have learned to flee immorality by being more aware. I try to make more effort in being more aware of the way I talk, my body language, eye contact, my smiles, ect. I grew up in Texas and I have always been friendly, but often times can be accused of being flirty? So as a married Christian woman, I do my best to watch ME. No matter my intent, Satan can use me as his vessel w/o my permission. I am not letting him win anymore.
Great game plan, Crystle!
Share one practical way that you have decided to flee immorality (ques. 4, p. 33 – BBB; ques. 5, p. 34 – BBB-Teen). I think that I should dress the way that is pleasing to GOD and steer clear of those men who make remarks about me. I also think that I should not say anything bad about my husband out in public, especially if some men are around.
How did the Lord speak to your heart this week? I see so many young girls dressing like the Immoral Woman and wearing some of those tees that Miss Laurie was showing in her video and some of those girls are claiming Christianity. I pray that the mothers wake up and open their eyes to what their daughters are wearing. It breaks my heart!
What did you learn this week that will help you to become a more biblically beautiful woman? Be soft spoken and not loud. Be discreet when talking whether to a family member or friend.
I agree. It is very important to watch the words we say about our husbands. What we say has a direct effect on how others view them.
How did the Lord speak to my heart: The Immoral Woman isn’t just about how you dress and talk. It’s also about what you watch and what you laugh at. I was watching the Super Bowl and one commercial struck me as kind of funny. Then I was convicted about the sexual message behind it. I began to really paid attention to the commercials and most of them had a sexual connotation to them. It really made my heart break at how companies are trying to target people through sex. We have to constantly be on our guard.
Even on kids’ shows, there are a lot of commercials that I would rather not have in my house. Thank God for Direct TV and the ability to fast forward through a lot of them!
There are a couple of things I practice in fleeing immorality. One is we do not see any R rated shows at all. But that almost has to change to PG13 shows also because of the language. Needless to say we do not see alot of shows. Plus we do not have television. There’s really not alot to watch and we don’t want to waste alot of time watching tv. We both love to read and enjoy playing games and getting together with friends. We really don’t have time to watch tv.
Wow, no TV at all! I admire you!
I realized that I need to stop comparing myself to the current popular image of the “perfect woman” and find myself coming up short. I don’t dress like them and I don’t act like them and I don’t look like them and I shouldn’t want to. I’m ok as I am, and my style of dress and behavior is more Godly as it is now. When I was much younger, I dressed more like the “stylish” woman, and I realize now how that could have been considered immoral. I had thought I had turned prudish as I turned older. I’m not.
I definitely think that you can be stylish without being inappropriate! It may take a little more thought, but it’s definitely do-able!
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This lesson came at a perfect time…cleaning out the closet. I was amazed as I went through the tops I have previously worn and realized that most of them need to hit the give away box. And I am praying that the ones who buy them are more careful about the impression they give. They are not terribly revealing but need to go. Thank you for opening my eyes to what God is seeing and other men. I don’t want to cause anyone to stumble.
Yep, some things that fit well five or ten years ago have somehow become inappropriate now. (For me, I’m sure it has nothing to do with having three kiddos and the lbs. they’ve “blessed” me with!)
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Emily,
I have not been able to access the Week 3 blog. The link is grayed out for the study on the Indiscreet Woman. Is something wrong?? Should I make my comment somewhere else? I run into women all the time who do not even realize they are being indiscreet. I, myself, have been guilty of some of the characteristerics of the indiscreet woman although not to a severe degree. Age and wisdom definitely helps tone any of that down as ones walk with Jesus increases.
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